I have been here for about a week and a half. I took this assignment because I truly felt it was a calling to come and help the people of New York. In the time I have been here I have lost a lot of patients. I have kept a lot of my patients alive for the time being, but not truly knowing to what end. I have reflected on what good have I really done..? This has potential to be a soul-crushing question.
Since day 1 I have been assigned to unit 9B. Almost every single traveler rotates assignments each shift, but I have been lucky and fortunate to have a consistent assignment. I was told after my first shift by my charge nurse that she was going to request me to stay there and ever since I have! I have been embraced by my unit and they even joke around calling me a staffer (an original employee from the hospital). I feel blessed to feel part of their team and feel acceptance by them.
The reason why that is important to me is because the staff is the reason I am here. They are the reason I can feel proud to be here and feel like I am making a difference. If I can take a patient from three different nurses, that means maybe they will each be able to take a break during the night and actually enjoy the food they are eating. Maybe they will be able to stress a little bit less during the night. I feel I can get them to smile and laugh during the night. These nurses have been in this fight a lot longer than I have. They have dealt with more tragedy and loss than I have and will. They have been overworked and over stressed and over exposed to this virus. This is the reason I am here and I am proud to embrace that as my calling.
That does not mean I am not going to do everything I can for every patient. I would love to be apart of saving at least one life while I am here. I just know I need to have a vision and a purpose of my assignment so that I don't get discouraged or depressed.
Some of the coolest people I have ever worked with. They have been to hell and back over the past couple of months and are still in the fight. It helps give me energy and motivation to work hard. I am only here for four weeks. Like coach Wall (my high school football coach) used to say... When this is all done I want to be able to look in the mirror and know I did everything I could. I want to leave it all out on the field.
You are giving us a clear picture of what is happening in the trenches. I pray that you and all the others that are on the front lines may be safe and continue to be blessed with fortitude in such dire circumstances.
Thank you SO much for sharing your journey. I live in Utah as well, and I have a son who is 14, and has Down Syndrome. He was born with a complete AV Canal defect, congenital diaphragmatic hernia, and a tethered spinal cord. He’s had lots of surgeries and of them were open heart. He also has pulmonary hypertension and chronic lung disease...so I’ve been around the block a time or two. Nurses have been a HUGE part of our lives, and they are amazing....THANK YOU for volunteering to help in such a trying time. I can’t stress enough how important you are from the family point of view. We have developed lifetime friendships with our nurses, and I just…
I love your reflection of leaving it all on the field. Doing everything you possibly can and knowing that you gave your best! I think when you have a chance to reflect on the lives you saved or feel like you didn’t it’s important to remember we may not see the magnitude of that influence of leaving it all on the field and doing our best. Impacts more people than just the patients. While it may be you won’t get to save a life of any of your patients but you may have saved the legacy of that patient’s family because they know you brought comfort to their loved one and were there when they couldn’t be. And fo…
I just wanted to thank you for sharing what you're doing. I have been really frustrated with so many people in Utah complaining about Covid-19 and saying things like, "What's the big deal?" or "The government is just trying to force us and take our freedoms, this is all just a political ploy" or "I don't know anyone that is sick or that has died, why do we all have to stay home?" or "Why can't we just put all the old people in one place and let the rest of the world continue..." :-( It's like so many are in a bubble and it's sad. You are an INSPIRATION and amazing example to go out there and help! Thank…
Kris,
Hard to find the words after reading your posts. Thank you to your sweet family and you and May you all be looked over and blessed. Take care and return safe.